- Don't panic.
- Panic! Immediately! Probably best to take down all precariously displayed bottles of $5000 fragrance! Yes, do that right away.
- Speedwalk to Vera's and ask nicely for some pieces of white sandwich bread.
- Drawing on your Hans Christian Anderson background, leave an inviting trail of breadcrumbs toward the door. Give the bird some space to contemplate this development.
- (Encouraging pigeon cooing noises are generally frowned upon, but as this is an emergency situation, we'll allow it.)
- Make slow, deliberate passes with a broom along the top of the display case. The pigeon should batter frantically against the plate glass windows, but he will eventually land on the floor, discover the breadcrumbs, and warily nibble his way out the door, looking bemused but well-fed.
- Shoo him out the next five times he walks - walks! - back into the Apothecary. (Hey, it was warm in here and there was free bread - he may be a pigeon, but he's not stupid, dude.)
- We hope this clears up any pigeon removal questions you may have had.
Very truly yours,
Liz and Emilie, Avian Psychologists